How to get to Heaven
by VekktorSketch
Summary: After their premature deaths, Dipper and Mabel are found by Bill without memory. Renaming them 'Pine Tree' and 'Shooting Star' Bill promises that in return for labour, he would assist them in getting to heaven. However, with his upperhand on the situation, can Bill be trusted?
1. Found

Desk 33403 sat at the end of a blank, white hallway lined with cold, smooth gelatinous chairs. The desk was round, smooth and hard, and held up a medium sized monitor which had the number 439 displayed in bright red and unlike the others, the chair in the middle was uncomfortable and rough. Sat in this chair was a young woman, no older than twenty, who was slouching against the desk, her head down and brown hair splayed across it. The only noise that filled the space, much to her despair, was her own breathing and the sound of the strawberry gum in her mouth.

Chew. Chew. Chew.

She, among countless others had taken to this fate. A fate decided upon her as soon as she had walked through the doors behind her. A redemption for her past sins on earth, as she had died ten years ago. Having finished her most recent paperwork, all she could do was wait for the number to change.

Miraculously the number on the screen changed immediately. 440. The brunette looked up and pressed the blue button on her right, awakening the woman closest to her from her seemingly eternal slumber. She watched the blonde stand, picking at the gooey remains left from the chair out of her hair, then tentatively walk over to the desk.

"Uhm…" The brunette simply pointed her thumb behind her, towards the double doors. The woman nodded and walked around. The woman at the desk was left to chew her gum and take out the next lot of paperwork.

Amongst the countless adults, in chairs 463 and 464 were two children, twins, aged twelve. They were obviously fraternal, no matter how much they looked alike; both had shaggy brown hair and once tanned skin now pasty white. They were slumped towards each other, eyes closed like everyone else there.

Suddenly, a golden creature appeared, looking around. His eye locked on the brunette at the desk. She almost swallowed her gum. He seemed to scowl, until she looked away, taking hold of her pencil. The triangle-being looked pleased, and turned to the twins in front of him before changing his appearance to one of a human, like them. With a snap of his fingers, the two awoke with a start.

"Wh-Whats…" the boy muttered to himself, putting a hand to his forehead. He looked up at the man before him, staring at him with a single visible eye. He was familiar, but his mind felt fuzzy and unsure. He couldn't remember anything at all.

Meanwhile, the girl simply rubbed her eyes, before taking in her pale complexion. She looked around, noticing that others were the same. She sank slightly in her jelly chair, before looking to her neighbour, then at the man.

"Who _are_ you?" Her curious voice asked him softly.

He had been waiting patiently, as to let them adjust to their surroundings it seemed. He stood tall; a light yellow suit with a golden brick pattern adorned him. He adjusted his eye patch and tugged at his bowtie before speaking.

"Hey, kids," The man spoke, his mouth barely moving. Despite this however, his voice was loud and clear. "How've you been doing?" The children could only stare at him. "Well, aren't you talkative? I'm Bill," - he held out his hand - "Bill Cipher!" When neither of the twins returned the gesture Bill irritably retracted his hand, frowning at them.

"Do we know you?"

"No, not at all!" The blonde man grinned at the two, putting his hands on their shoulders. The two shifted uncomfortably. "Now, you're probably wondering what I'm doing here," He looked towards the double doors and the desk, where the woman was still hurriedly scribbling down notes. The twins followed his gaze. "Back there, that's where you guys will be judged."

"For what?" The girl questioned, only to be shushed by a gloved finger.

"Yeah, what's going on?" The boy asked, his temper rising with every unanswered question.

"Alright," Bill growled at them. "You guys, you're dead. The guys behind that door are gonna judge you, and see whether you go to heaven or hell." The girl immediately put her hand to her chest, as if to feel for a heartbeat that was no longer there. She looked at the boy besides her, who was doing the same. "Now, I'm gonna do you guys a favour, if you guys work for me," - he jabbed his thumb into his chest - "I'll put in a good word in for you!"

"What-" The boy started, almost afraid of the answer. "What's my name?" Bill seemed to think about this before saying,

"Pine Tree," He tipped the boys hat down over his eyes before pointing to his sister. "And you're Shooting Star!"

"Ooh! I like my name, it sounds so pretty!" She rocked back and worth on her wobbly chair, before purposely falling into her neighbour. "What about you?" Pine Tree sighed and looked at her toothy grin.

"Yea, I guess..." He trailed off unsure of Bill's trustworthiness.

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way," Bill held out his hand again. "Deal?"

Pine Tree looked at Shooting Star, and she looked back worriedly. "What do you think?" He felt a certain closeness between them, something that was perhaps left over from their past lives. Shooting Star simply smiled and nodded.

"What if we were bad? I'd rather not spend an eternity down there, would you?" Without waiting for a reply, she turned to the blonde. "Deal!"

"Great, just sign here," He summoned a long contract and pen from somewhere, handing the pen to the girl. As she doodle a star on the dotted line, Bill questioned Pine Tree, "What about you kid? Wanna join your sister?"

"Sister?"

"Ah, you're my brother! Come on bro, do it!" Shooting Star shoved the sleek pen into his hands. He buckled under the pressure, and wrote his 'name' next to the doodle.

"Perfect!" Bill grinned gleefully as he quickly rolled up the contract and snatched the pen from the boy. Bill snapped his fingers, and disappeared in a flash of light.

Sitting at the desk, the brunette was finished with her paperwork. She slowly picked up the phone, rapidly dialled '99898' and waited.

"Yes? T-There was a visitor..."


	2. Awake

In a quick flash of light, the trio appeared in the doorway of a medium-sized, quaint room. Covered head-to-toe in a calming red, the room fortunately contained the necessities to occupy two people: a double bed, a large wardrobe, a desk, a bookshelf, and a door leading to a shared bathroom.

Bill grinned at the two children, they never having seen anything like this in their memory. Stepping forward carefully across the soft carpet, Pine Tree headed towards the window. Meanwhile his twin immediately charged at the bed, giggling madly to herself at the soft sensation as she threw herself into the duvet.

"Well, I can see you two will like it here!" Bill quickly backed out of the room, ready to leave them to themselves. "Be at my office before day rise!" With that, he harshly slammed the black door. Pine Tree flinched at the sound, still beside the window. Turning around he saw his sister, who did not seem to care about what had just happened, and was continuously rolling around on their bed. He decided to voice what was on his mind.

"Hey, uh…" He hesitated, however his voice grabbed the attention of Shooting Star. She immediately sat up, bundled in the covers like a cocoon, her head poking out.

"Yeah, what's up?" She held back her laughter, enjoying her own predicament.

"Don't… you find this situation…" He paused, trying to find the right words. Shooting Star just looked at him, smiling. "Just a little suspicious?"

She huffed playfully at him. "Well, yeah!" She struggled, finally getting her hands out the duvet. "It has suspicion written all over it, Pine."

"'Pine'?"

"Pine. You know, instead of 'Pine Tree'?" She further shimmied the covers down her body. "Like how 'Shooting Star' is way too much of a mouthful." Finally removing herself from the bedding, the girl let out a triumphant yell. Pine Tree let out a small sigh, and turned back towards the inky black window. "You okay, Bro?"

"Yea, it's just that," Noticing that the girl was now behind him, he quickly stepped aside to show her what he was looking at. "Look."

Nothing, but pitch-black and their reflections.

"Cool…"

"No, not cool. There's nothing out there. Doesn't that worry you?" He waited for a response. "At all?"

"Not really," Shooting Star smiled at her brother, ignoring the confused look on his face. "It's night-time."

"Huh? How do you know?"

"Over there." She pointed to the bedside table, where there was a rectangular object with a bright red display screen which read: 'NIGHT' in large, capital letters and a five number countdown beside it, at about 20756. "I think it's a clock." The boy just stood there. Upon seeing the clock, a wave of tiredness immersed him, despite his previous slumber.

"Ugh."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just," He took a deep breath. "You going to sleep soon?"

"Might as well." She shrugged and rubbed her eyes.

"You wanna use the bathroom first?" She nodded, and with a quick 'thanks' she rushed through the door, hoping that it was in fact a bathroom.

Pine Tree watched her depart, before heading to the bed where the remains of Shooting Stars' makeshift cocoon lay in a bundled mess. Quickly sorting out the bed, he was fluffing the last pillow when his sister exited the room. He acknowledged her presence with a smile as he finished what he was doing.

"Do you need some clothes to change into? You want me to…" He trailed off, noticing that the girl hadn't moved from her spot outside the door. "You alright?" She nodded hastily. There was an awkward pause. "Did- Did something happen in there?"

"No, it's fine." Her smile was small and worrisome, but Pine Tree didn't press the subject further. Instead, he went back to the question he was asking before.

"D'you want me to find some clothes for you?"

"No thanks, I'll get them!" Shooting Star sang gleefully, a contrast Pine Tree was thankful for. She ran to the wardrobe and flung open the doors. She started forcefully moving the clothes apart, in a great attempt to find a substitute for the gown she had been wearing.

"Hey, I need some clothes too-!" he joined in cheerfully until there was a scream of:

"SWEATER!"

"What?" In her hands was a soft, golden sweater, an eye adorning its front. In actuality it was quite creepy, however Shooting Star was staring at it as if it were the holy grail.

"It's perfect!" She hugged the item of clothing tight, before grabbing something else that she had found. "Look, look, look," She slammed down a gold and white hat onto her brothers head, blinding him for a short moment. "We match!" Pine Tree took the hat off, staring at the eye symbol it also wore.

"Y-Yeah, I guess-" Shooting Star cut him off once again with a hug.

"We can wear 'em tomorrow!" She threw her sweater at the end of her bed, and quickly found a baby pink nightgown. "G'night Bro!"

"Huh? What are you doi-? No! Star, don't do that here!" Shooting Star simply ignored him and carried on changing, leaving Pine Tree to find his own clothes and change in the bathroom instead.

As he changed, Pine Tree looked around the luxurious bathroom. Catching his attention the most was a large round bath, made to share. Deciding against a bath for the time being, he instead turned to the sink to his right, and found two toothbrushes, one wet. He assumed that his sister had used it and opted to pick the evidently unused, blue one. He wondered what it was about the bathroom that had made Shooting Star act like that. From what he knew about her, it was unusual behaviour. Of course, he could never be sure, not until he got his memory back.

His memory…

Shooting Stars too…

That was important, he wanted to ask Bill about it next time he saw him. Tomorrow.

Once done with what business he had in there, Pine Tree changed clothes, and returned to a dark room. The only light that was left was from the block of light behind him. He took in a shaky breath.

"Star?" He called out.

"I'm sleeping." Was the tired reply. Seeing that she wasn't going to do anything about the light problem, as the bed was a good way from the door, Pine Tree switched off the light and groped his way to the bed. Clambering under the covers, he was soon met with a warm hug, and a small, "Goodnight, Bro," from Shooting Star.

He didn't respond, having already fallen asleep.

0x0

The next morning, Pine Tree awoke face-to-face with a girl he hardly recognised. With a scream, he pushed himself away from the covers surrounding him. Shooting Star laughed, and tossed a white t-shirt and some shorts at his face. As he gained his bearings, he recollected his memory, to remember where he was. A medium-sized room, covered head-to-toe in red being filled with a dim, blue light from the window.

The window.

"The window!" Pine Tree leapt from his bed, throwing Shooting Star off of him. She fell with an 'Oof!' and looked mildly annoyed at her brother.

"What's gotten into you?"

"The window, it's- there's light!"

"Yeah, what about it?" Pine Tree looked at her incredulously. With sudden realisation, she said: "Oh, right, it's predawn right now!" She pointed at the grey rectangular block on the nightstand as she had done the night before, the red light now reading 'PREDAWN', instead of 'NIGHT'. "Bill said we need to be there before dawn, so I woke up early! Wouldn't want to be late on our first day. But you looked so tired; I thought that I should let you rest for a bit!" Shooting Star had been averting her eyes as Pine Tree dressed himself by the window, staring curiously at it.

"So, how long has it been predawn?" He asked, staring at the nothingness behind the light.

"A few minutes, kinda just switched on like a light!" Shooting Stars' smile never left her face as she spoke to her brother. She then started moving her hands over her eyes, then away, making noises as to demonstrate switching a light switch on and off. Ignoring his sisters' antics, Pine Tree pulled down his hat and turned to her.

"Well, I'm done. So where's Bill's office?" Shooting Star froze in place, her hands over her eyes.

"Uuhh…"

"You don't know do you?"

"Well, he never told me." She puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms, acting upset.

"And, how long do we have before dawn?" They looked towards the oblong 'clock' again, the numbers counting down from 5136, every second. "Well, if that's in seconds, that isn't much time. Like, at all." They watched the clock count down for another five seconds before running to the door.

They burst from the room.


	3. Halina

The pair burst from their room in total panic, only to find themselves at the end of a long narrow hallway.

"Quick!" They shot down the hallway, past the closely packed doors, each decorated with a golden triangle. Besides their own movements, the place was eerily quiet, as if there was not a single drop of life besides themselves. Then again, they weren't exactly living, just conscious; and that terrified them. They ran faster, soon reaching the end door that led to wherever and then stopped suddenly.

With a shared look, they opened the door.

They were met with another hallway, one with only five doors including the one they stood. One door was red, one green, one gray and two were yellow. They stood in one of the yellow doors.

Shooting Star was the first one to move, striding toward the centre of the room.

"Star, what are you doing?" Pine Tree looked on incredulously at his sister She looked around at each door, taking a good look at each one. It was so familiar to him, watching carefully for anything, anything that could give him a clue.

"This one!" He watched as she bounced to the other yellow door. She turned the handle and threw the door open. "Bill!"

Reading over some papers, Bill was floating above his desk. It wasn't surprising, as there was no room for anything, it being covered in buttons and any sort of bric-a-brac he could get ahold of. He looked down from his position in the air and grinned. "Hey Shooting Star," In an instant he flew down to the young girl and inspected her clothing. "Good, you found them. Where's your brother?" The boy nervously stepped in besides his sister. "Ah, there you are!"

"Are we late?"

"Nah, just in time actually!" Bill looked up at the cuckoo clock in the top corner of the room as it suddenly made a loud chime and the hand span around twice before settling on 'DAWN'. Pine Tree let out a shaky sigh of relief which was promptly ignored by the cause of his fear. Who knew what Bill may have done if they were late. He was a naturally intimidating person, at least to Pine Tree. Who could say about his sister, who was smiling as if visiting an old friend, not the person who possibly decided whether they were to be punished or not.

"Now," Bill took a seat behind his golden desk towards the back of the room. Shuffling a stack of papers, he put on a serious expression. "You now know the situation, so I'm going to put you straight to work," His grin turned sickly sweet as he looked over the two. "So would you rather work together or separated?"

"Together." They chorused.

"Of course."

OxOxO

It was a surprise to most of the other workers that Bill had personally escorted two new recruits to the work room, especially as they were children. They weren't complaining however, as this was their opportunity to impress their wonderful boss. It was such a shame that he wasn't paying any attention.

Walking through the red door, the first thing the twins noticed was that it was very hot - almost too much so for Shooting Star - because of the large furnace across the room. The room was moderately large, people wearing yellow clothing scattered across the room. It wasn't as packed as Pine Tree had first expected. Most others had pale skin much like the twins. Was it a common trait among them? A question was burning in Pine Tree's mind.

"SO, uh-" Pine Tree cleared his throat after a voice crack. "So Bill, why are you doing this?" He asked, ignoring giggles from his sister.

"Now, would you believe me if I told you that I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart?"

"No." He spoke immediately, without thinking. It took Pine Tree a few seconds to realise what he had said. As panic began to settle in, Bill fortunately let out a hearty laugh, attracting the mildly jealous eyes of his workers. Shooting Star joined in, albeit nervously.

"Pine..." She let out quietly, looking relieved at the reaction.

"You're great, kid! A real laugh!" He held his face in his hand. "Were you like this before?"

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"Oh, right." Bill waved it off as they approached the furthest point of the room, the furnace.

"Halina?" Bill called out across the small crowd of shovellers. Murmurs spread as a small teenaged girl walked forward. Her blue eyes, dull like a dead fish, were staring up at the man. "Good, I need you to show these two around." Halina nodded, and smiled.

"Yes sir, Mr Cipher, sir!"

"Good luck kids!" Bill swiftly floated away from the group with an empty grin, leaving the twins to fend for themselves. They looked on nervously as the crowd slowly returned to what they were doing, leaving the trio behind.

Drilling holes into her two new comrades, Halina smiled. "Well then, let's gets started shall we?" She turned and walked in a seemingly random direction. The twins followed her nervously, slightly off put by the girls' eyes.

OxOxO

The star of the tour had gone off without a hitch, though neither of the twins were paying that much attention.

"The furnace powers the Heavens and the Limbo."

Shooting Star was too busy looking at everything that caught her attention, whether it be some boy or the occasional pretty decorative object.

"The land of Hell, on the other hand, practically supplies itself."

Pine Tree on the other hand was being ignored completely by Halina as he mumbled to himself. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why Bill was doing all of this. Bill didn't seem like the type of person who would help others. Pine Tree had felt so inferior standing next to him, it scared him thinking about what his motives were. Then again, he could just be being paranoid about everything, given the peculiar situation, however he would just have to find out.

Halina stopped outside the red door leading to the hallway with Bill's office. It had taken a long time to get through everything in the furnace. The three weren't sweating however.

"Have you got everything?" She asked, exhausted from walking around so much.

"I have a question!"

"Questions wait until after the tour," Shooting Star let her arm fall to her side, a clearly offended look on her chubby face.

Halina ignored her and walked through the red door, the two following behind her. Little did they know of the jealous looks from their coworkers.


End file.
